i am so inexplicably drawn to movies and stories of mindless roaming, of discovery, of self-discovery, of heading out on a trip with no known end in sight, but with a few set points along the way to make sure i'm getting somewhere.

crazy/beautiful, elizabethtown and now, away we go.



i used to classify this feeling as a form of escapism. for the lack of a better word, and for a lack of a better understanding of this indescribable feeling. but now i've come to realise, that this feeling that has been growing inside of me for years, since my early teenage years (god that makes me sound so old), doesn't have that negative connotation of escapism. while yes back in spore there was something to escape from, the constrictive ever-present pressure and cagey-ness that i felt.

but now in london. i'm happier, more care-free, more unwound, more unbinded, more relaxed that i have ever been. and i can barely believe how much my view and perspective and knowledge has widened over this short two years. the things i've experienced, tried, seen, smelt, felt, heard and touched. this is how i want to spend the rest of my life really. feeding this crazy wanderlust in me. feeding my ever-growing hunger for this world. and just living, in the moment, in the past, in the future.

and this whole trip to nyc. just walking in the darkness along the water's edge, from battery park to wall st pier, to the brooklyn bridge. being frightened by the shadows sometimes (and squirrels too. snorts). its this whole myriad of emotions, wonder in the beautiful sunset, amazement at the depth of the human ability to dream and the fear of the unknown. its all that that makes us genuinely feel alive no? and i suppose that's why i fell so head over heels in love with new york. its gritty, and dirty, but as i said (and rachel agrees), i don't like happy people. and i don't really like happy places. you need a balance of reality and darkness and that dreamy amazing quality that creates this draw to a place. and like london.. new york has that. together with tokyo.

this is why i'm such a city-girl. i love cities to death. throw me in some nature reserve and i think i'll commit suicide :p

and if i were to never settle-down. or rather if i were never to find someone worth giving all this up for... i'd happily spend the rest of my life flitting and floating from country to city to beach to mountain. that'd be nice. hahaha. and probably says alot abt whoever i'm willing to be with. snorts.